GetYourBackIntoIt

Lion King ages you fast

2008-03-01T23:13:00.002-05:00

Timone, age 57

Bonding with your Child

2008-02-05T23:00:00.000-05:00

"Yes, Sammy that's your very own scab.
It's a nest of dried crusty blood you can pick at.
No, it usually doesn't hurt.
Little specks of it might flake off, but that's normal.
Isn't your body amazing?"

Winner of the Superbowl

2008-02-05T22:59:00.000-05:00

Who knew stains spoke Latin.
Awesome.

It's not as pretty as it looks

2008-02-01T00:18:00.000-05:00

I can't stand that we only see the perfect, airbrushed side of ballet.

Just short of halfway through this, we get to see it
without its makeup on.
Backs and necks soaked so wet with sweat
it's a miracle the dancers aren't dancing in a pool of it.

Finally. We're a little closer to the truth.

Sedaris in Person.

2007-11-17T12:31:00.000-05:00

Goodbye Hello Kitty

2007-11-08T23:51:00.000-05:00

Finally. Someone has taken the liberty of putting an end to this miserable animal.

See the whole ingenious collection

License Plates Say All

2007-10-30T23:45:00.000-04:00

As I walked through the parking lot this evening,
I passed a car who's license plate was "WATCHR."

When I looked up, there was a man staring at me.

EW.

Read This.

2007-10-28T23:41:00.000-04:00

"My parents and I are able to see through people as if they were made of hard, clear plastic. We know what they look like naked and can see the desperate inner workings of their hearts, souls, and intestines.."

Oh my dear, dear David Sedaris. How I heart thy writing.

My favorite quote:

"When asked, most people say that my greatest asset is my skin, which glows - it really does! I have to tie a sock over my eyes in order to fall asleep at night."

"You could get that new shirt."

2007-10-21T00:28:00.001-04:00

Hair that Freaks

2007-10-13T20:59:00.004-04:00

The highlight of First Fridays last week was their exhibit of models with avant-gardey hair. I didnt have my camera to capture the magic, and I dont like the turquoise puffs featured here very much, but it will have to do.

Cabbage Patch Kid

2007-10-01T23:57:00.001-04:00

Creepy.

Eat it raw

2007-09-22T21:15:00.003-04:00

Oh. These cards by Uncooked tickle me funny.
The couple behind them used to be a creative team from McCann.

I want more

Dirty Bags

2007-09-07T23:04:00.001-04:00

"Dirt Bag is a collection of worn and torn tote bags exhibited on the walls of Slate Gallery, curated by Gillian S. Wilson and Sara McCormack. Accompanying each designed tote is the story of its journey from the hands of the artists and designers to the floors of parties, parks and travels. Within our mass media culture, the lowly tote bag has become a means of expression where the consumer chooses which design or brand they wish to promote by toting it on their shoulder."

The Dirtbag Exhibition will also be selling (non-ripped) tote bags from featured artists to raise funds for organizations that will help greenerize the Brooklyn Waterfront.

Other bags

Proud Mother Lays Beer Can Baby

2007-08-10T00:27:00.001-04:00

Well, it's either that or something else.

But who cares. Beer in the Butt Chicken sounds delectable. I hear they stuff cumin, diced onions, and entire cloves of garlic into the beer can before the um, insertion. And I quote, "the yeast and malt found in beer reacts with the chicken, particularly the skin, making it thin and crispy while the meat remains juicy." Hold on while I drool.

I know I'm one of the deprived last to hear about this, so someone tell me if it's as good as it sounds.

p.s. To make it in a more civilized fashion, consult this fascinating demo.

Read a #$@!*# book

2007-08-08T19:39:00.000-04:00

Profanity by itself doesn't do a lot for me.

But "I'm not a rapper I'm a poet with a hip-hop style" D'Mite also understood that it's the language of a culture.

And smart fella that he is, he used it to communicate what he had to say.