Lion King ages you fast

Timone, age 57

Bonding with your Child

"Yes, Sammy that's your very own scab.
It's a nest of dried crusty blood you can pick at.
No, it usually doesn't hurt.
Little specks of it might flake off, but that's normal.
Isn't your body amazing?"

Winner of the Superbowl

Who knew stains spoke Latin.
Awesome.

It's not as pretty as it looks

I can't stand that we only see the perfect, airbrushed side of ballet.

Just short of halfway through this, we get to see it
without its makeup on.
Backs and necks soaked so wet with sweat
it's a miracle the dancers aren't dancing in a pool of it.

Finally. We're a little closer to the truth.

Sedaris in Person.

Goodbye Hello Kitty

Finally. Someone has taken the liberty of putting an end to this miserable animal.





See the whole ingenious collection

License Plates Say All

As I walked through the parking lot this evening,
I passed a car who's license plate was "WATCHR."

When I looked up, there was a man staring at me.

EW.